Movie Review: Deepwater Horizon

I really dont have to explain the storyline behind Deepwater Horizon because unless you live in a cave you already know the story of the Deepwater Horizon explosion.  Honestly that makes the movie instense, because the whole time you are just waiting, knowing the oil rig is going to explode. This is a movie that you watch for the special effects and dont really give a shit about the acting.  However the acting in the movie is pretty good.  John Malkovich steals the show  as the greedy oil executive.  Kurt Russel is good as the guy who is trying to explain to Malkovich that he is operating an unsafe oil rig,but Malkovich continues to blow him off.  They are behind schedule for christ sakes!  Marky Mark just runs around the oil rig the whole time as the thing is being destroyed. Thats basically all he brings to the table.

I would not really say its a guy movie like Terminator, because this movie is a true story, and when they roll the credits at the end, remebering the 11 guys who died in the blast it's hard not to shed a tear. Also you start to question why we are drilling in the middle of the ocean to begin with??  Not to sound like bernie sanders here, but is it really worth it?  I would think the cost alone must be insane to drill out there, but apparently its not because  I beleive we still want to go out there and drill.  You would think in North Dakota and Texas we have enough of this stuff?  Either way, hard not to respect the guys that leave their familes for weeks at a time to do this type of job so we can have gas for our cars and oil for our homes. 

GRADE: B+

Movie Review: Captain Fantastic

Captain Fantastic is about a man who raise six kids off the grid.  Viggo Mortensen is the main character and he is up for an Accademy Award for best actor for the film, so thats the reason I wanted to watch it. I also heard and read decent reviews so I gave it a shot. It reminded me a lot of Little Miss Sunshine.  So if you hate that movie, don't bother watching this flick, if you like that movie, I know you will like this flick.

Mortensen is great in the film, but he plays this super left wing guy who teaches his kid to read Norm Chomsky and teaches them not to trust "the man". So when it comes to that storyline I always have to ask myself did Hollywood just nominate him because of the storyline?  It's sad you have to ask yourself that, but I can help myself to question it.  He's still good, but is he that good? hmm.

All in all the movie has a good story. He moves his family off the grid after his wife becames mentally ill and when he finds out she committed suicide, he takes his family from Oregon to Arizona to attend her funeral.  Of course the wifes family hates him and from there I will not ruin the rest of the movie you.

Grade: B-

Netflix Series Review: The OA

This is going to be more of a public service announcement and not a TV review. Do yourself a favor and DO NOT watch this show. It's horrible and will give you nightmares. Tell me I'm a wuss, I dont care, the show sucked.  I had to buckle down and finish it because I wanted to see what happened at the end and still did not get the answers I wanted.  I wasted 8 hours of life watching this turd.  Please do not do the same.

Original Angel is what OA means. In the beginning the show follows a girl from early childhood to her current age, which is around 30.  She was born in Russia and her mother died during childbirth and her father was involved with the Russian mob. The mob tries to kill OA as a child but she survies. The father sends her to America, because as a result of the accident she goes blind.  Eventually the father is killed by the mob back in Russia and OA ends up living in a Russian whorehouse with her aunt.

You can see now how FUCKING happy this show is. 

From there, an older couple, probably in their 60's adopts OA as a child, I'm guessing she was about 8 or 10.  So she leaves the whorehouse and the older couple raise her.  She is blind but gifted and for some odd reason plays the violin at a subway for fun I supposed. One day she is tricked by some guy to some to her house and he keeps her captive with 3 other people in a cage.

JUST GETTING HAPPIER!!!!!!!!!!!

Turns one the guy, named HAP is doing expierements on these people.  He's basically a mad scientist trying to find out if there is life after death.  So every day he gasses one of his hostages and drowns them in this weird device.  But they don't die. They always come back to life, because he's always recording a near death experience.  This happens to the hostages over and over again for 7 years.  Below is a pic of this device.  These are the scenes that gave me endless nightmares.

 



At one point, OA cries to escape and HAP catches her and hits her over the end with the end of a rifle.  Miracleously OA gets her sight back!  Because, why not right.

So now the hostages bascially figure out they are being drowned every night and they determine they are all angels.  They do these weird hand movements to revive one of their hostage friends and somehow now they are invincible. So the OA, now that she is free after being captive for seven years teaches 4 other random high school kids and a high school teacher how to be an angel by doing these weird hand movements.  I dont know something like that.

So as you can tell this show is so much FUN!  So the ending of the show is at the high school cafeteria and a kid with an AR-15 starts shooting from outside the cafeteria and then walks in the cafeteria and starts just shooting people.  All the kids are hidden under the lunch tables and the 4 kids and the teacher get up and do those wierd hand movements and one of the cafeteria workers tackles the shooter and the situation is done. 

And then we never find out what happens to other hostages and the mad scientist.  I guess you need to stayed tuned for season 2 to find out about that, but I rather brushes my teeth with bacon grease and chew on shattered glass then watch another second of this show.  Overall if you like having nightmares and being depressed, this is the show for you!!!!!!!

Grade: D- ( Phylis from the Office is in this show, she saves it from getting an F)

Netflix Series Review: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Lemony's Snickets A series of Unfortunate Events is an eight episode series on Netflix.  Since I have two daughters they wanted to watch it with me, so I got dragged into it.  Honestly with all the garbage that Disney and Nickolodean shits out for kids to watch, this was a fresh change of pace. It's a kids/family show that is not unbearable to watch.  What an amazing concept!  The show reminds me of the most recent Charlie and the Chocoloate Factory movie combined with the 1980's movie Labyrinth. The setting is odd and the characters are so weird.  Basically if you watch this show and you dont have kids, you need to be checked into a clinic, or you just dropped a bunch of LSD and want to go on some strange trip.  All this being said my kids loved it and it was nice to actually watch a show togehter as a family that was decent and entertaining.  I think Netflix could really be on to something with these type of family shows, because like I said, the crap that Disney churnes out is disgusting.  My 7 year old watches "jesse" and "the thundermans" and honest to god it is the worst pile of shit ever created. Trump needs to find the assholes who write this crap and deport them to Libya. It's terrible and rots my kids brains.  So if those type of shows are your competition if you put out a decent product like Lemony Snickets, you raise the bar.  Lets hope for the sake of humanity and parents everywhere it keeps up.

Grade: B

Netflix Series Review: Travelers

 



 



Travelers is a Canadian TV show that is now on Netflix. Netflix claims its their own series, however it was on some network in Canada and now we Americans have the utter joy of watching it. The show is a sci-fi show about people from the future who travel to the past to try to prevent some disaster we dont know about.  The people time travel by taking over someone's body..,. or a host. They basically only travel by conscience and not themselves.  They take over someones body right before they die and then work together on a mission to try to prevent world chaos.  I know thats a lot, and it is a little odd, but I could not stop watching.  I was hell bent on how far in the future these people come from and what type of world ending disaster they are trying to stop. Also they are always refering to being sent back by "the director" and the show has not told us who "the director" is.  So you have all these questions you want answered, which got me to continue wathcing. All in all its a decent show but not great.  Entertaining if you like sci-fi, otherwise watch something else.  I would say if you like Orphan Black, which is another Canadian sci-fi show, Those crazy Canucks have a thing for science fiction I guess, then give this a whirl.

Grade: C