RE-SIGN STEPHEN DREW!!!!!!!!!!

I don't give a shit how much it costs.  7 years 150 Million,  8 years 175 million, whatever Boras requests!!!! Just get it done Cherington! There is no price too high for a man who is a vacuum cleaner at short and has a zen like connection w/ animals.

Pierce's House vs KG's House. Take your pick.

It still doesn't look right.  Honestly it's like being reminded of a bad break-up.  Well the break-up wasn't bad, but you get the point.  Anyway, back to the matter at hand.

Both of these guys are selling their old homes in suburban Boston.  I know I know I was stunned as well that they didn't own townhouses in Hyde Park.  But if you had unlimited funds which house are you buying?  Here's a tale of the tape:

Pierce 2.65 M. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, 2 partial baths, 7600 sq ft.  Lincoln, Mass
KG 4.2 M, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, 2 partial baths, 11000 sq ft. Concord, Mass

Having a house on a lake is pretty sweet, but the last thing I need in my home is a gym.  I would never use it, so I see it as a waste of space.  Call me frugal but I would take Pierces home.  I think it has just enough room for my entrouage

Guys are now cooking the Thanksgiving Turkey

This here everyone is the beginning of the end for America.  1st it was the gays being allowed to marry then it was the hippies being allowed to smoke pot freely.  I thought the final straw was insurance companies no longer being able to deny people health insurance because of pre-existing conditions.  (Seriously if you cant make people miserable how can I enjoy myself.)  But men cooking the thanksgiving turkey is utterly ridiculous.  I thought we were having a "war on women"? How are we winning the war if we start cooking the thanksgiving turkey.  What's next sewing? bad driving? menstrual cycles?



The Good Ol' Days

Celtics refuse to tank, Ray Allen is a little bitch

Honestly the best part of this video for me is Kelly Olynk trying to get awkward white guy high fives from Gerald Wallace and Jeff Green. (:39 second mark) They just leave him hanging.  So cold.

Well it appears the Celtics are not going to tank this year.  Even if they lost this game I would still feel that way.  I really think they are too good to be in the bottom five of the league in terms of a high lottery pick.  Also there are so many other bad teams in the NBA I don't think they could do it.  I think you have to be in the 20-25 win range to get in the bottom five and I don't see this team doing it.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  Once side of me wants them to be absolutely awful so they can get Jabari Parker or Andrew Wiggins but then it will not be any fun to watch the Celtics this year.  I guess we can go for that 8th seed and get spanked by the Pacers or Heat in the 1st round.  Who knows.... Fuck it I'm going to enjoy the ride. 

As for Ray-Ray... WWAAHHHHH!

KG and Pierce still will not talk to me.  Really?  Do we really need to talk about this?  I don't blame them for not talking to you.  There's 28 other teams in the league Ray Allen could of left for and no one would care, but he chose to go to the arch-enemy.... for less money that what the Celtics or other teams offered him.  You signed a deal with the devil Ray, so just stop talking about it. God I hate the Miami Heat.  Most hateable franchise in sports.  In 1st place by a mile over the Montreal Canadiens and New York Yankees.

Not the way I want to go...

YIKES! This right here is my worst nightmare.  I couldn't even watch one second of that Ryan Reynolds movie ''Buried" I'm so freaked out my this.  How about the lady who discovered this guy? Holy SHIT! could you ever go to a cemetery again?

Joe Biden calls Martin Walsh to congratulate him on his mayoral bid...

but it turns out to be the wrong Martin Walsh. Fucking Biden! You have to love this guy, he was probably half in the bag when he did it too. Just shitfaced and types in Martin Walsh in his phone and just calls the first Martin Walsh that comes up.  Do work Joe!


PS. If Biden called me I'd be thrilled! If Dick Cheney called me I would shit my pants and call the vacuum repair guy from Breaking Bad and disappear off the face of the earth.

Hey Barry! Beer me!

Pot is legal in Maine now

Pot is now legal in Portland Maine. It just hit me today that in about 5 years pot will be legal everywhere but at the same time peanut butter will probably also be outlawed in public places.  Honestly I don't care if pot is legal or not, people are still going to smoke it no matter what the government says, just now if its legal the government will probably get money for it and not the Mexican cartels.  Anywho it's just completely fucked up than as a society we are being more and more liberal about things like gay marriage and pot but then since we no longer freak out about these pointless social issuess we start freaking out about other pointless social issues like peanut butter allergies, banning soda in schools and kids wearing helmets for playing soccer.  We have officially gone mad.

Wearing Sombrero's is racist now I guess.

You have got to be kidding me with this shit.  Whats next?  All Taco Bells should be banned because they are racist offering cheesy gorditas.  Dora the explorer? Diego.

People are losing their shit over what is and what is not racist.  lets go through some examples:

Not Racist:

Racist:

 

Ummmm I really have no Idea, I guess this is racist:

 

WTF?? Come on Mitt!

 

 

 

World Coconut Shortage because to many assholes are drinking Coconut Water

This story is why America is #1 but at the same time it is why the rest of the world hates us.  5 years ago no one gave  a shit about coconuts.  I remember my grandparents bought one for me when I was a kid, I though it was awesome because it was a coconut.  I mean you only see those things on TV, but then I realized you need a hacksaw and a hammer to open it so I realized coconuts suck.  So some hipster dipshit created coconut water a few years ago and of course fitness people flock to it like sheep saying it makes your better in bed or some unproven shit and college kids start drinking it because they think it cures hangovers and BAM! before you know it some guy in the Phillipines who makes 6000 a year is about to lose his job because he can't keep up w/ coconut demand.  AMERICA!!!!!!!! EFF YA.

 

Red Sox Offseason Already Heating Up

Pete Abe of the Globe is reporting that the Sox may move away from Salty and possibly sign Brian McCann. You look at the numbers in Pete Abe's columns and I don't get why the Sox are bananas about Brian McCann??? He has less power, and played less games behind the plate, yet he is going to get more money.  Supposedly he is a better defensive catcher, but is it really worth all that extra money?  I guess it is.  I mean Salty did throw away Game 3 of the World Series w/ that stupid throw to 3rd base and he did not hit at all during the postseason.  (minus of course his clutch hit to win ALCS game 2)  If I was running the team I bring back Salty on a 2 year deal. But I'm typing on a laptop writing a blog no one reads so what the hell do I know what I'm doing.

Also I think we all need to relax about the Stephen Drew shit.  So the Sox gave him a qualifying offer and now he may resign w/ the Sox for I don't know 47 million a year.  Who the eff cares.  Its not our money its John Henry's.  Last I check he is a rich fuck so he can spare it.  Also Stephen Drew is not the worst player in the world.  The guy hit .253 w/ 13 homers and 67 rbi's this year w/ an OBP of .333.  Yes he sucked ass hitting in the postseason but he played rock solid defense.  Personally I don't think its the end of the world if they did give him a 3 year deal.  Let Bogarts play third and have Drew man short.  The sports radio knuckleheads are screaming for Drew to get outta town and make Bogarts play short.  But maybe Bogarts does not want to play short... and maybe the Sox want Bogarts to concentrate more on hitting and worry less about playing short.  Either way Im cool w/ it.  We just won the World Series for Christ sake so everyone needs to calm the hell down.

Rex Kramer Returns

Yes I know I've been away too long.   Blog guy had to take a break, but now I'm back.  What better way to get motivated then watch a cat get exactly what it deserved.